Thanksgiving

     With this time of year coming around, everyone takes a little bit of time to think about what they are thankful for. Among the generic lists that you find from among family members, church members, and friends, there are certain things that people will always list. Some big ones that I find are: family, friends, God, and my job. These are all such blessings, and God is certainly so amazing to bless us with these.
     But, I always want to be different than those generic things. I always think about what I'm thankful for that nobody seems to remember. This year, it's been striking me hard about what I should be thankful for- I can only think of a few people who have thanked God for this. And I'm praying every day that God would truly make me thankful for this; and I thought I would share what exactly "it" is.
     I thank God for my trials. I thank God for allowing me to go through hard times, dry spells, and confusion. I thank my God for these because I know that He will always see me through; and I know that trials allow me to grow in ways I never knew were possible.
     I am a very emotional person in general; when things don't go my way, I generally cry to the person closest to me. I blame myself for mistakes I've made, and I get so caught up in my feelings that I don't motivate myself to do anything about it until I've hit absolute rock bottom. But, when I've hit rock bottom, that's when I remember that the only place to look from there is up. And when I look up, and up, and up, I see my Father. And when I cry to the One who is ever present, I find a queer thing happen. My tears slowly begin to dry up; and although I cannot see my Father, I feel His presence so strongly. It's when this happens that I begin to dust off the best book that exists; it's when I look up that I seek Him for the answers.
     When I am questioning my faith in God; when it seems like people look down on me for faith, I know of only one answer. I seek His face to show me the answers to my questions. When I am questioned, I seek the answers; when I begin to seek the answers, I grow ever so much stronger in my faith.
     When I am inhibited by physical trials, it's so easy to get mad at God for allowing me to struggle like that. I have to admit that half of the tears I cry when I am down are truly tears of bitterness, because it seems like I cannot have the faith for God to heal me. Yet, I will praise my God through the pain, because when I am sick, I realize He is my healer. And it's just another opportunity to exercise the faith that God grants me anew every day. Because I have learned so clearly, that when you can't have the faith it seems you need, God's grace is sufficient for you. And His grace brings along the faith. It always seems like grace and faith follow each other; we are saved by grace, through faith.
     So I am learning to be as Paul was. When he was beaten down, persecuted, and couldn't seem to get rid of the "thorn in his side", he lifted his hands up in praise. He sang in the prison cell; he preached at his trial. He loved the ones who sought to kill him. It seems an awful lot like our Saviour at His trial.
     So, when it comes to our trials, will you lift up your hands in thanks, or will you run for the tissue box?

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God. Ephesians 2:8
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
"Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you." 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time,  casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you.  Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.  Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world.  But may the God of all grace, who called us to His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen, and settle you. 1 Peter 5:6-10

the Music in my Head

To the One who wrote the greatest love song; the One who composes my life:  

  twinkling notes on repeat played
          beating my rhythm day to day
     i sing along yet ne'er aloud
          lest i hit but one note stray

but You,
      You make me sing along
       but You,
             You make me forget the metronome
              and You,
                     You harmonize my melody

     heaphones shoved inside my head
          turned down to conceal the noise
     fingers tap atop my desk
          i follow the music- pianisimo

but You,
      You ampliphy my hidden voice
       but You,
             You give me drums to play
              but You,
                    You sing along forte

You are the music
                            inside my head


Yet the Lord will command his lovingkindness in the day time, and in the night His song shall be with me, and my prayer unto the God of my life. Psalms 42:8

The Blackout Bible

This is a different kind of format than I've used before, but it's something that's been on my mind since my Pastor used the phrase "Blackout Bible" in church on day. This entire work, except for the real verses, is entirely facetious; however, there is a meaning behing the satire.

"Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools." Romans 1:22


Mr. and Mrs. Smith stood back and admired their average house. There was nothing in their living room that stood out from another- everything was a non-offensive monotone gray. Never black and white- some people didn't believe those should exist, and they wanted to make everyone comfortable here. Pastor Brown was coming to dinner tonight, so they made a traditional thanksgiving meal; a little turkey, a little corn, a little stuffing, and a little dessert. He would be pleased.
After supper Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Pastor Brown retired into the living room, with a soft fire blazing in the back. The Pastor walked around, admiring this and that, until he got to a book. He picked it up approvingly, and brushed the dust off the untarnished cover, and gave his hosts a knowing look. "You guys do an amazing job at keeping up with the trends. I'm so glad I can see how much use you all have for this book- as we all know how fashionable it is to keep one of these, it is a complete waste of time to spend even a moment reading this. You have your heads screwed on right."
His finger brushed down to the edition neatly scrolled onto the cover- Blackout Bible, 21st edition. "Again, I don't know how you guys do it, but this is the newest version that all the churches base their religion on. I'm so glad that they narrowed down what was in this book to the easiest way to live, and I completely agree with the word they kept in here- love. After all, who are we to tell others how to live? I mean, it's not like anybody reads this thing anyways."
Mr. and Mrs. Smith nodded in agreement. "We go around and do our best to dispel the belief that there is anything called sin. Such and ugly word, such an archaic belief! We have found a long time ago that people just don't want anything to do with hearing that they are wrong, so it would simply be offensive to rub their "wrongdoings" in their face. The old saying 'All roads lead to Rome' must have started from some truth, I would assume!"
"Ah yes, but now you're implying that there is such a thing as truth. We all know that saying something is true, implies that the opposite is false, and that is potentially upsetting. For instance, if I tell you that shooting someone is wrong, and you want to believe the opposite, who am I to tell you you're wrong? After all, the newest version of the Bible eliminated all the potentially offensive words and phrases; we all just need to follow the remaining word. Love." Pastor Brown shook is head, deep in thought.
Mr. Smith jumped in. "Exactly. Telling people that your belief is the only right way is like the pot calling the kettle black- I mean, did even Jesus say to take the speck out of your eye before you take the mote out of your brother's? And then He turns around and says 'I am the way, the truth, and the life. No man comes to the Father but by Me.' Not that I have actually read that or anything- we prefer our own versions- but to me, that sounds pretty narrow. I think parts of the "Bible" must have been miss-interpreted along the way. A loving God would never do that. He would never allow people to get hurt. Somebody must have missed it along the way, dropped the ball or so to speak."
"Some people would say 'dropped the fruit'." laughed the Pastor. "I mean, they claim that out great-great-great-great-so on and so forth grandparents messed everything up- again, talk about narrow! That's how they explain that whole "sin" word. Not like I paid much attention- it has no bearing on today's society. I think that the best way to go is the path of least resistance. I know last year's version of the Bible included a verse like "Wide is the gate, and easy is the way that leads to God", or something like that. Now they think it's offensive to us the word God, but if it's so easy, why couldn't He just forgive us? I've heard my grandparents say that the answer was in the rest of the Bible, but obviously that wasn't important, or our society wouldn't have gotten offended."
In the end, Pastor Brown and Mr. and Mrs. Smith all came to the same conclusion- "I'm so glad we live in such a highly sophisticated intellectual society. One would think we were gods."


Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. John 14:6
Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all men, because all sinned- Romans 5:12
"Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. Matthew 7:14

When you can't...

I see people. I hear people. And I know hurt exists all around. And these people, that I care about, that I love so so much have so much pain in their lives. And all I want to do is to forget all my problems and just hurt for them. I want to just fix their lives and kiss their owies and send them on their way to a life full of padded walls and sterile cleanliness. But as try as I might, I can’t. And I get to feeling so helpless for them because I know wishing them better won’t change a thing.
But then I realize, I don’t have to take their hurt. I don’t even have to clutch onto my own pain, because somebody has already taken it. The proof lies in His scarred hands, His bloodied head, and His loving heart. He has done the impossible- He has conquered the grave, He has healed our disease, and He has bottled up all our hurt!
And when it seems like you’re lonely, that you have to face the world by yourself; when it feels like you have to put your brave face on and be your own hero; when it seems like you can only live by one second at a time- He has conquered that too. I know my Redeemer lives if it’s only through this fact alone- because He gives me strength every day. He gives me the grace to smile when I can’t, He gives me the courage to conquer the world day by day.
He has delivered me out of the bonds of depression, out of an anorexic spirit, out of condemnation and has put me in the light. And when I get caught up in the feelings of this world, I need not look any farther than my own before-and-after pictures to know that He is there. That my God does amazing things, and that He has conquered it all!
So when this world seems too heavy for you, remember that it is. When it seems like you can’t even take your next breath, remember that you can’t. Because it’s Christ who took the weight of this world on His shoulders; it’s Christ who gave you the Breath of Life. And it’s Christ who carries you.

LORD, you establish peace for us; all that we have accomplished you have done for us. Isaiah 26:12
Do you not know? Have you not heard? The LORD is the everlasting God, the Creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:28-31
Look to the LORD and his strength; seek his face always. 1 Chronicles 16:11
Be strong, and let your heart take courage, all you who wait for the Lord! Psalm 31:24Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10